What about Bondage without Domination? Or Sadism without Masochism?

BDSM is something that seems to indicate you need to do EVERYTHING all at once. But is this really true? When you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do certain things, it can take away the fun that is kink. Instead, think about the ways that you can create new scenes ideas, but taking away parts of BDSM without worrying about whether you’re doing things ‘right.’ Is this possible? That’s what we’re going to discuss now.

No Domination?

While it might seem that someone always needs to be in charge during a BDSM scene, this isn’t always the case. Instead, a slave can be told what to do ahead of time, thus taking away the role of a Master or Mistress, while still doing things that they are told to do. In fact, having a slave memorize a scene they need to enact on themselves will be a powerful display of their commitment to their Dominant, while also giving their Master or Mistress the night off. A slave might walk into a room, put on their bondage equipment, and then present himself or herself to a Dominant, without a word. This act of submission allows the scene to be focused on the bondage without the dominance into the ropes or the chains. Or a Master or Mistress might simply walk into a scene and say as few words as possible, never pushing the slave to do anything. Simply asking for things to be done creates a different tone to a scene, and it can create a new way of interacting that relies on the slave’s training up to this point.

No Masochism?

Now, there is a sticky situation when it comes to sadism and masochism. If one person likes to inflict pain, but the other person doesn’t like to receive pain, it seems that things are at an impasse. However, the training part of the BDSM relationship can allow for the slave to still receive pain, even if they don’t necessarily enjoy it. As an act of servitude to their Master or Mistress, they can agree to try out this sort of training, without any worry of having to take on this role permanently. In addition, the slave can be given a set of safewords to use in order to control the pain they are receiving, helping them have the best possible experience, while still pleasing their Dominant.

However, overall, the M and the S are intertwined. Another way to look at changing up these letters of BDSM is to have the sadist not inflict pain on the person who wants to receive pain. In doing so, it takes away the thrill of the training on both sides, and causes there to be new ways of relating and new ways of training.

The Balance of BDSM

BDSM is a balance of different experiences at different times. As in any relationship, things can get stale if you’re accustomed to certain things ALWAYS happening. Instead, strive to find ways to challenge yourself and each other to see how you can satisfy everyone’s experience. While you might not always be able to have a perfect training session (and is any training session perfect?), you will begin to see how the training might progress in order for the slave to learn more and in order for the Dominant to learn more about their charge.

BDSM doesn’t have to be the same way every time. It’s up to you to decide what works best, and how you can continue to learn from the ways in which you train.

Who Wants to Learn How To Be A Good Domme?

Becoming a Domme is a journey. Not only do you need to decide what sort of Domme you want to be, but you also need to learn how to be a good Domme. This process may take months or years and it can be likened to any journey of self-discovery. When you realize you want to step into the role of a Domme, you should be careful in the way you change your behaviors and your mindset.

• Think about what becoming a Domme means to you – Though this might sound a little strange, it’s a good idea to think about why you want to learn how to be a good Domme first. This will help you begin to see what sort of Domme you may want to become in the process.
• Make a list of goals for training – Since becoming a Domme is a process, you will want to make a list of all of your goals, even the small ones. You might end up changing this list as you learn more, but starting off with some sort of map of your journey can help you stay on track.
• Work with other Dommes – Whenever possible try to learn how to be a good Domme from someone who already is. Even if you just talk to other Dommes online about things you can do, this will help you get a broader perspective than books and websites can teach.

When you’re ready to learn how to be a good Domme, then it’s time to get serious about the process. Becoming a Domme is more than just deciding to boss others around. This is a journey of becoming more powerful and showing others that you can control them.

You also learn to control yourself and to create powerful experiences for others.

As a Dominant you are meant to protect and care for your submissive.  Therefore, it is crucial that your slave gets the exercise they need to stay healthy.  Even if this means that you must put a collar and leash on them and have them follow behind while you exercise. 

Of course, I don't think taking your submissive for a walk on their leash is the worst thing they could experience.  So they should be more then happy to follow their Dominant's lead and the best part is they won't even realize they are exercising. 

Showing Respect In Submissive/Slave Training

There is nothing as beautiful as seeing a good submissive showing respect to their Dominant and the tools used to in their submissive training.  It both reflects well upon the Dominant and the training they have provided for their submissive.  It also shows a desire that a submissive has to obey and serve their Dominant.

The question you need to ask yourself is; Do you want to obey and serve?

If so will you show your Dominant the respect if they have proven themselves worthy?

Show Me You Want To Be Flogged

Many submissives will ask to be spanked, flogged or caned. They think just because they have asked for it that they should receive it. Well I believe that if a submissive wants something that they need to prove that not only do they truly want it, but that deserve to receive it. So if you want to receiving a flogging from Me you have to show Me that you truly want it. How are you going to do that? Master Bishop

Learn How To Be Submissive through Slave Training Protocols

While every slave experience is different, one thing remains the same – you need to discover how to be submissive. You need to find out what it means to fully turn your mind and your body over to someone else, helping them control you and have power over you. By learning more about slave training protocols, you can find out what is right for a slave to do in different situations. What you need to know about slave training protocols is that these will change when you learn more from your Dominant. These techniques often include: * Basic positions – Many Dominants will want their slaves to hold certain positions before, during, and after training sessions. This might include the Ready position or other positions that show the submissive’s true role in the relationship or in the shared experience. * Names to use – You may be required to call your Dominant certain names, or refer to yourself by other names when in their presence. * How to behave during training – The slave who is graceful and willing during training is a slave that shows their appreciation for their Dominant. The more you can learn about this new way of acting, the more training will help you grow in the submissive role. This list of slave training protocol techniques is often much longer, especially when you’ve been with a Dominant for an extended period of time. The more you learn about being submissive, the more you can take on, and the more you will be challenged to do and to learn in the process. No matter where you are in your learning process as a submissive, you need to remember that it’s up to you to know how to behave in training – and whether you prove you are trainable.

Flogging A Good Submissive

The anticipation of a good flogging

I love the look of this submissive as she waits in anticipation to receive the flogging she so desperately has asked for.  Its beautiful how she tries to peak out of the corner of her eye, hoping that she might see when the falls will land. She bites her lower lip to hopefully ease the pain of the inevitable impact and grips the chair with all her pent up frustration, fear and excitement. This will be a moment to remember.