BDSM
is something that seems to indicate you need to do EVERYTHING all at
once. But is this really true? When you’re putting a lot of
pressure on yourself to do certain things, it can take away the fun
that is kink. Instead, think about the ways that you can create new
scenes ideas, but taking away parts of BDSM without worrying about
whether you’re doing things ‘right.’ Is this possible? That’s
what we’re going to discuss now.
No Domination?
While
it might seem that someone always needs to be in charge during a BDSM
scene, this isn’t always the case. Instead, a slave can be told
what to do ahead of time, thus taking away the role of a Master or
Mistress, while still doing things that they are told to do. In
fact, having a slave memorize a scene they need to enact on
themselves will be a powerful display of their commitment to their
Dominant, while also giving their Master or Mistress the night off.
A slave might walk into a room, put on their bondage equipment, and
then present himself or herself to a Dominant, without a word. This
act of submission allows the scene to be focused on the bondage
without the dominance into the ropes or the chains. Or a Master or
Mistress might simply walk into a scene and say as few words as
possible, never pushing the slave to do anything. Simply asking for
things to be done creates a different tone to a scene, and it can
create a new way of interacting that relies on the slave’s training
up to this point.
No Masochism?
Now,
there is a sticky situation when it comes to sadism and masochism.
If one person likes to inflict pain, but the other person doesn’t
like to receive pain, it seems that things are at an impasse.
However, the training part of the BDSM relationship can allow for the
slave to still receive pain, even if they don’t necessarily enjoy
it. As an act of servitude to their Master or Mistress, they can
agree to try out this sort of training, without any worry of having
to take on this role permanently. In addition, the slave can be
given a set of safewords to use in order to control the pain they are
receiving, helping them have the best possible experience, while
still pleasing their Dominant.
However,
overall, the M and the S are intertwined. Another way to look at
changing up these letters of BDSM is to have the sadist not inflict
pain on the person who wants to receive pain. In doing so, it takes
away the thrill of the training on both sides, and causes there to be
new ways of relating and new ways of training.
The Balance of BDSM
BDSM is a balance of different experiences at different times. As in any
relationship, things can get stale if you’re accustomed to certain
things ALWAYS happening. Instead, strive to find ways to challenge
yourself and each other to see how you can satisfy everyone’s
experience. While you might not always be able to have a perfect
training session (and is any training session perfect?), you will
begin to see how the training might progress in order for the slave
to learn more and in order for the Dominant to learn more about their
charge.
BDSM
doesn’t have to be the same way every time. It’s up to you to
decide what works best, and how you can continue to learn from the
ways in which you train.
